Others’ Perception of me—How could it affect me?
I have a lot of clients coming and saying to me that what others think of them matters to them a lot
We have a deep-seated need for order and predictability in our lives. We crave the feeling of control over the things around us, so society has developed rules about what is acceptable behaviour.
This thought process could have a positive and a negative outcome
Positive in a way that you are motivated that these others’ in the others’ expectation are the ones who want you to excel in every way
Negative in a way that you are overthinking about the same and it clogs your perception about your own self and lowers your self-esteem.
Man is a social animal and somehow most of us need validation at times to continue doing what we do, however, overthinking and worrying about the same and letting those thoughts occupy ourselves may lead us to be anxious all the time
Well, don’t you worry, I would let you know how to surpass all these and emerge stronger and powerful within your own self
Here are a few tips:
• As per Jim Rohn, You’re The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With Hence, surround yourself with people whom you trust would accept you unconditionally, who know you, trust your capabilities and boost your confidence. Be ready to accept Feedback constructively from such people and let it help you grow better each day
• Stay away from people with negative intentions and who enjoy criticizing others:
Having come across such people, staying away and blocking them in your life is one of the best things one could do in life. I actually did that in my life, too and it really brought me a lot of peace
• Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and knowing where his thought process comes from, would be very helpful in understanding them and then choose whether to take it or leave it. It would help us being more empathic, rather than angry or upset with the opposite person
• Stop the monkey chatter – Make sure the inner dialogue (the conversation that you have with your own self) is not negative and self-sabotaging, but positive and empowering
• Believe in yourself: Be Aware, Acknowledge and Appreciate yourself and of everything that you have done so far, to reach where you stand today. Tap on to the strengths that have helped you survive through difficult times
• Perfection is myth: What may be perfect according to you, may not be perfect according to the opposite person. Know that at any point of time, that was the best thing that could have been done and hence, have no regrets
• Remember that each one has their own story: People have their own lives, stressors and insecurities to handle. They may not even have the time to pay attention to yours
Re think whether is it only you, who is worried about what they think about you or are they actually thinking?
As the quote goes: Your perception of me is a Reflection of you and my reaction to you is an Awareness of me
The Positive Outcome of the thought of others’ perception about me is that
‘What specifically is it, that I want others’ to think about me?
Then I start working on ‘How specifically I want create that presence that others should perceive about me’?
What specifically I need to do in order to have that presence?
Wouldn’t all of these thought-provoking questions make me take the necessary actions and work towards increase in my productivity and growth.
Author:
Dr Sukhmeet K Kalsi
CEO and Founder of Aspen Life Coaching
Medical Consultant, Mumbai, Counseling Psychologist
Internationally certified Corporate and NLP Trainer
ICF Professional Certified Coach
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